Friday, November 30, 2007

Thanksgiving Humor

Well, Many of you may know, that I spent thanksgiving in Tijuana. It was pleasant, but I would have rather been with my family. In honor of thanksgiving, today I found a top ten list, probably from Dave Lettermen a few years ago, but they make me smile, and I want to share. You may have heard them before, but no matter, enjoy.

Top Ten things that sound dirty at thanksgiving, but are not:
10. "Reach in there and grab the giblets."
9. "Whew...That's one terrific spread!"
8. "I'm in the mood for a little dark meat!"
7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
6. "Talk about a HUGE Breast!"
5. "And he forces his way into the END ZONE!!!" Go Cowboys
4. "She's 5 thousand pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
3. "Its cool whip time!"
2. "If i don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"

and finally number one

1. "It must be broken, because when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."

Have a great season.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Hola Senors and Senoritas

Live from Tijuana. Yes folks I am in Tijuana. It is pleasant here. I traveled all the way to Mexico to get a six dollar burger from Hardees’s. You may laugh, but I love those things. Well, being south of the border is a lot like being in San Diego. Every other channel is in Spanish. Ha Ha. My friends will be glad to know I have not met one Filipino since I have been here. I am sure they are taking over the world; they just haven’t gotten to Mexico yet. HA Ha. It is just a joke.
They just had the International Beer festival here, and not being a drinker, that was really a let down for me. However, someone did offer me a cigar cheaper than a hot dog. I thought that was funny.
The Hard Rock in Tijuana was nice, but they had the music to loud. We had to scream across the table to talk. What other news.
The flight from Dulles to San Diego was a little over five hours. The airlines did not provide a free meal. However, they did offer me a snack pack for 5 bucks, but the flight attendant did not know what was in the $5 box of stuff. We were delayed for a few minutes for them to put air in the tire too. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be delayed for a few minutes while the ground crew puts air in the tire.” I thought that was funny. Not sure why I found that humorous.
Check back in a couple of days.

Friday, November 02, 2007

WARNING!! Mature Post

Well we have all done it. We are all guilty. Even you ladies out there have done it, you just don't talk about it. We have all, at one time or another, let a fart out at work. We try to be nice, go to the empty cubicle, or walk into the bathroom. Maybe even go outside and act like we have a call on the mobile phone. But it has happened to all of us. I would like to share a moment from work. I don't typically talk about work, because I don't post from work. An event happened today that reminded me of the funniest work moment I ever experienced.

This story has 5 key players, so try to keep up. There was Tronster, Fish, Boss, PM1 and PM2. Tronster (me) and fish (colleague) were talking in our shared space. (a 2 desk cubicle) Boss walks by to an empty cubicle to "float an air biscuit" He does not inform Fish or Tronster of the reason he explores the empty cubicle, he just does. Fish asks Boss to come over. Boss delays. Fish persists, so Boss comes over. Bringing a trail. Fish and Boss begin speaking, and then it hits Fish and Tronster. The "Toxic fume trail". Now boss has hit us before with a few quality "air biscuits", but this one was bad. So we talk to Boss about leakage and the possibility that he may need to check himself. Then PM1 (male) and PM2 (new employee, female) walk around the corner of the cubicle. They step right into it, the toxic wall, no warning, just "boom" there you are, in the thick of it. They were polite, and didn't say anything, but PM1 stuck his finger to his nose and PM2's face squished up. They tried to talk through it, but to no avail. Tronster and Boss were laughing and Fish was attempting to discuss whatever the PMs wanted.

The morale of this story. Don't disturb someone in an empty cubicle that is not their own.